realized!

amat sesuai. can i say sorry...n im so sorry even i know i should giv a change for self too but not at this moment..IM SO SORRY!

false positive result

Stocrine can cause a false positive test for THC or marijuana in some patients. I have write a note for patients to have handy in case that happens (simply states that patients X is under my care and is taking a necessary prescribed drug that can cause a false positive marijuana test). KH

Tetrahydrocannabinol (pronounced /ˌtɛtrəˌhaɪdrɵkəˈnæbɨnɒl/ tet-rə-HYE-drə-kə-NAB-i-nol) (THC), also known as delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (Δ9-THC), Δ1-THC (using an older chemical nomenclature), or dronabinol, is the main psychoactive substance found in the cannabis plan.

False positive kat cni means mayb for marijuana @ ganja n at certain case for benzo group.

this statement apply like at Sg Buloh or HKL.. i already discuss with specialist here,but they wont give some escape for patients especially who are ex-drug addict (Dr asking me... r u believed them)...at this moment..dalam keadaan bersalah... if im not believed them, they were my patients n if i percayakan mereka, can b mereka akan mgunakan kpercayaan saya.

then it is not fair for me as a RVD pharmacist, i exclude the RVD patients yang pernah menjadi penagih dadah unless i can stand to see rvd patients like 'mayat hidup' in da ward n still survive for life. n most of them are MALAY! bangsa saya...
at this moment, saya pun terfikir... can i apply for new posting quickly..so i can escape in this involvement.... but, saya akan tfikir lagi..how about da women..yang tjerat bcoz of their stupid husband... dan yang mjadi mangsanya adalah wanita dan anak kecil itu... of my God sometime this world does not really fair...

dan hati kecil saya bkata ..Dia maha mengetahui... u r not God tu judge n punish them. i must b here n give them hand to make sure they can survive. i LURVE my job now. Give them a second chance to forgive themsaelf.:))

my saturday...

agaknya bile la dapat aku abiskan weekend yang best tanpa ke tempat kerja..that a really nice weekend...
bile big bos tak puas hati ngan kerja kita, he wants something new, look more natural.. orang yang btukus lumus pun terpaksa dtukar la. mayb he want someone yang look more fresh. i dont know!
adrian pun jadi sasarannya..so pity..need to act a few time but finally berjaya!!GOOD
harapnya..this one will b da last act n my big boss satisfy with our effort...

i miss sYa so muchh..

t'amat rindukan sYa...
why 3G not working here...
at last call, told me I LURVE U..
feel like to scream...
i lurve u so much...
God..plz allow me to b strong untill we meet again...
just b strong to wait until end this months...
really cant wait!!

so longgg...

tsangat la lame x jenguk blog nih...
jot down again to release something inside...
now already 6 months-really fast im continued staying at this hospital n there were already for months im staying at this taman...
bjirankan jiran saangat peramah, kadang2 saya mjadi segan.everything u do, they will look on u..
might b its good n u feel safe at ur home...
p.cik ni, sangat bek..m.cik ni tlalu baek..they act like mother n father for me..nice.....

actually very mnay thing to do but still dont hav mood for it
u need think about soft skill, kik n most important thing is to become rvd pharmacist...
now already got 20 patients of rvd to take care. i do my best to help u all my dear patients but if never come collect ur medicine, i cant do anything. call u all pun x dapt...
so hard, most of them are drug addicts n sometime just come out from prison..im really cant help u all if u never help urself...
now..come out with idea for a good flow in mtac tapi belum bertindak lagi...
WHERE MY ENERGY GO???...HUH..

before and after...

screaming.. a lot of thing to think about.....
today...able to handle methadone guiding by teh..tq...
this evening..need to attend HIS meeting...nasib baek pn maimon ade same..tcengang beb, i dont know anything....

miss my prp and scared on be frp......

my prp at hoshas n b frp too at hoshas.....

They were my staff at FKP.. I will work again with them for another few years..

can i try to love it???

i'm rejecting my post job at bahagian pharmacy.....
at da first time, im so glad to get that job..of coz because this job at qtn..
but..it not more involved in patient care and hospital.... after had been brained wash by my care giver, i thought again...everything what i had learned, useless if i have choose this job.. n in my mind, i cant afford to work with miss wee n tn shaikh....everytime this work so demanding... reject this offer....

now, staying at hoshas..try to build up my love with my new job..sometime.. i thought, it really hard to become a senior... i hope He will guide me... n if my Mum still be with me, she will become da first for me to story about... and she always guide me for da decision... i hoped this final decision is da best choice for me...

my first oncall as FRP come this week at methadone center...TEH, HELP ME......

BFF

That a great day fot us.. a time of us gathering again in our best friend wedding ceremony...
Memang x sangka, dalam banyak2 kawan yg kamcing nih...mawi sampai jodoh dulu..he..he..
this is a pic in hasmawi n haslina wedding..

bila dah bjumpa..perempuan2 ini..hanye tau bgossip aje..

mawi disakat oleh ex2 girlfriendnya

kaum2 hawa...

kaum2 adam

membe sekampung..stu skolah... yg slalu buat onar d dlm class.. BFF..

da very left one is very problematic in class..always got problem with Pn Mas Ayu Ros Aida..ha..ha..but now, he got master in engeneering..fuyoo keyroll.. bangga cikgu mas tau.

skarang dah jadi suami org nih...he

selamat pengantin baru mawi n haslina.. siapakah di kalangan ktorg yg akan mengikuti jejak mawi ni..wait and see....he

Tuhan..aku rindu sangat...

siti nurhaliza ibu mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

Aku rindu sangat kata2 semangat dari dia...
Bibir mak tak pernah lekang dengan kata nasihat...
Emak tak pernah lupa ingatkan anak2 dia...
Emak tak pernah jemu berikan ilmu tuk anaknya...
aku rindu ..bibir mak yang tak pernah lekang dengan seyum...
Jarang skali tuk marah anaknye.. jarang skali ungkit kesusahan besarkan 10 orang anaknye...

Bile kaki aku mlangkah ke skolah..emak slalu pesan doa itu...semoga aku terus amalkanya..
bile aku takut exam...emak suruh lagi aku baca doa ini...Tuhan..dia tak pernak lupakan aku dengan kebaikan.... Ya Allah..tempatkanlah ibuku di tempat orang yang beriman bersama 'payung emasnya'...amin.....

2001

2006

matriculation year..

iwan ngan mak

anak mak..yes..i am.....al-fathihah

sepi 1 syawal

ibu kembali kepada penciptaNya di hening subuh 1 Syawal....
teramat sayu.... only Him know what i feel that time..my tears never stop flowing... at that morning, i just wait jenazah come home from husm... cant doing anything anymore...

1/09...aku. iwan n a.kay. hantar mak ke husm for stomach washout... tiada tanda apepun tp before going to husm, mak nak tengok semua anaknye bkumpul bbuka puasa... hari btolak ke husm, my mum wore a new bju kurung making by Teh n seme baju baru yang Teh wat, mak bawak skali... we leave my mum alone at ward..mase aku nak tinggalkam mak, terasa sayu sangat n pesan kat org katil sebelah, tolong tengokkan mak saya..... macam biasa, sebelum pergi, aku kucup kedua belah pipi mak.....

4/9... a.jas n k.izan pegi tengokkan mak kat sana... at that time, my mum already loss the voice... aku tak pernah agak pun semua ni jadi mcm ni..k.izan say for me that, my mum bleed so much, cant walk that much, so weakness... so, my sis at peneng take a long break to take care my mum..

12/9... i got bad news..my mum condition become worse...ca metz to lung, numbness of leg, bleeding never stop..kami adik beradik btolak ke husm...i cant see my mum condition like this, aku mest nak nangis, im not strong so much, n aku tak nak mak tengok aku nangis...tapi mak, walau sakit pun keadaan, mak tak pernah merungut, bibir mak tak pernah lekang ngan senyum...i no, my mum so pain n mak tak nak orang lain jage unless k.ros.... sebelum balik, semua org kata, mak mesti kuat tahan sakit..akay kata kat mak, jgn sedih..anak2 mak seme dah berjaya....nothing much for my mum need to worried.....

20/9..this is da last day for my mum....
around 12 midnite...iwan call....mak kene operate malam ni....praying...semoga semua bjalan lancar...we plan to start our journey early of morning to husm...
3am...get a call again....mak tak sedar dah ni....
around 4...get a call again from k.ros...suara k.ros tsekat...mak nazak dah....
sharp 5.15..get a call again...mak x de dah....saat terime that news from my sis and bro, aku terduduk, terkedu, crying so much...and go at that side, staying alone..make myself calm....
and i got da mesg..

mayb this is the best way to release all her pain....al-fathihah.....

salam aidilfitri...

buat rakan sekolah, rakan sepermainan d terengganu, saya tak dapat beraya dengan anda sekalian pada tahun ini.. dan mungkin sepanjang perayaan ini saya tiada di rumah..because my mum was admitted to HUSM and i will accompanied her till my end of holiday that second of October or until Tuan Shaikh or Miss Wee calling me to report duty for my new posting..

dengan itu, saya mengambil pluang memohon ampun pada anda sekalian jika ade janji yang tak tertunai dan salah silap yang tak saya sengajakan.. SALAM AIDILFITRI..MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

especially for my close rakan sekampung..ninie, irah,zam,eira, zarif,mawi,mamat, iwan, dino, epie and all....saya amat merindui kamu semua......... take care all of u..salam....

breaking fasting together..2 days before raye at nasi kukus..paka...

waiting...

erah, me n zam

ninie on da right

on left..mawi,maro,mat, iwan
center...zarif
right...zam, me, erah..ninie not in da pic

tired

im so tired today with extended hour working..
i want more rest...
and...in my mind..counting a day for a date...hu..hu..
hurry....
hurm...better go sleep now......

dreaming n embrassement

im sory guy, aku tak bmaksud x endahkan panggilan itu...
one day in da evening... lately, i dont know, where i put my mind....
fikiran melayang..jauh ntah ke mane.. betul kata Pn Na tu...

i'm walking at corner hospital side...
behind me.. tdengar seakan suara memanggil....
dalam hati aku( sape la PSY patient yg memekik tu)...

hafrizal: yanie...melaung lagi...yanie...dan lagi..yanie.......
aku: terus jalan...dengar... tp x tau lak mamat nih panggil aku..
staff nurse at that side: say to hafrizal....ko memekik tuh paggil sape hah???
dengan selambe, aku pusing belakang....
oh..ko paggil aku ke... aku ingat org sakit mane melolong tadi....
aku tersengih macam kerang busuk..rupenye si hafrizal dari wad supply lagi dah mjerit, melolong memggil.... aku ni pekak sket kot ari nih..he..he...SORRY LA BRO....

shopping raye..

disebabkan kekangan masa, cik safa shopped by online only.. memang x sempat nak g jenguk ape yang menarik kat shopping complex nih..hu..hu... tp so fantastic, a lot of beautiful shawl which can get through online... and me fell like to buy all... so hard to find out at here and i have no time to shopped at KL....

i hoped this month, bonus will come in my next income..just hoped....
budget this month quite high...
walauapapun, saya tetap btekad untuk dapatkan that Cybershot camera by SONY yg telah lame saya idamkan....i lurve that....

waiting n praying.....

sometime ciksue become crazy....

weekend so much prettiest than others days..
spend a lot of time with family, niece and nephew...
i got window shopping with angah miera..u know, even i lurve spending time at qtan but the most thing ' yang paling saya benci' da jam road at qtan... so hard to park car.... the rubbish drivers who always drove car like mak bapak die punye jalan....sigh..sigh
i got window shopping, never buy anything for myself, saya suke tengok barang yang cantik2 tapi saya tak beli....that's crazy of me....just asking to angah, anything u want just take it... ape lagi, angah mesti amik pluang nier punye... amiera bought two novel for herself...
before going out, Danny ask me, can ciksu buy a new transformers toys... NEVER... that already a lot transformers collection with Danny and Ibu never allow anyone buys any toys for him again.. so pity to Danny...

next evening i drove to trg with angah n fahmi.... that day almost time for breaking da fast... suddenly, fahmi bersuara.... bole tak kita makan kfc buke puasa nih???? satu perkara yg tak bole saya buat adalah, mhampakan harapan org... fine, just choose what do u want la.... diorag nih memang kuat makan..huh....

i lurve this weekend.. everybody at home..we spend breaking da fast together... saya ke pasar with my brother buy anything for cooking.... just choose...LIKE IT
lame gile tak makan best camni??? do u know what i mean da best at this side??? it is not kfc, pizza or mcd.. but lauk kg yang dah lame gile saya tak jupe.... ikan aya(tongkol) singgang, petai cicah budu....CRAZY... saya dah tak sentuh makan lain... plus air kelapa yang dikait oleh abang saya.... before my mum decide to be warded, she ask to dr, so that she can take a some time before going to hospital.. ONLY because, she want see all her sons and daughters spends tme together in this mulia Ramadhan... terharu..sob..sob....

my little boy..

some request from my little boy Danny,....
he ask me... can acik buy me that one...
i know what he want actually.....
i cant wait this friday to go kuantan for looking my lovely little boy and also...back to trg to see my lovely family.. I CANT WAIT ANYMORE

Dia yang aku rindu..

bersyukur aku kepada yg Esa, kerana ketemukan aku sekali lagi dengan bulan yang penuh keberkatan ini...syukran...
Ramadhan yang dirindui...moga tahun ini, akan dekatkan lagi aku pada Dia yang satu...
moga Ramadhan ini juga, mengajar aku erti kesabaran, kesyukuran dan terima kasih.....
menahan segala nafsu, dan elakkan seme sifat boros.amarah, iri hati dan dengki..Nauzubillah...jauhkan aku dari seme sifat ini.......
salam Ramadhan..ampun dan maaf jika ada tsilap dan terlebih kata...bersama kita, hayati bulan penuh keberkatan ini..amin.......
*waiting for time spending my Ramadhan with family and lovely friends at Terengganu*.
hugs and lurve from me...i miss u all so much.........

now, i undertsand..

my body itchy so much..
now, i understand...i am allergic to sea food...
lurve urself la..so pity, whole of body become itchy and redness...
so disturbing...
after this, get ready with lora before taking any seafood..lost one of nikmat hidup..hu..hu..

addiction

nowadays..im so addicted to this malay story....
seriously, i never follow so much of tv shows...
but Wadi Unung so touchable.
it regarding on friendship forever, pondok kecil....
seme yang ade dlm cite ni make me sangat rindukan zaman kanak-kanak dulu...
pondok kecil, cycling, gaduh, nanngis and sacrified to each others...
i miss u all my friends...really miss u all......