sepi 1 syawal

ibu kembali kepada penciptaNya di hening subuh 1 Syawal....
teramat sayu.... only Him know what i feel that time..my tears never stop flowing... at that morning, i just wait jenazah come home from husm... cant doing anything anymore...

1/09...aku. iwan n a.kay. hantar mak ke husm for stomach washout... tiada tanda apepun tp before going to husm, mak nak tengok semua anaknye bkumpul bbuka puasa... hari btolak ke husm, my mum wore a new bju kurung making by Teh n seme baju baru yang Teh wat, mak bawak skali... we leave my mum alone at ward..mase aku nak tinggalkam mak, terasa sayu sangat n pesan kat org katil sebelah, tolong tengokkan mak saya..... macam biasa, sebelum pergi, aku kucup kedua belah pipi mak.....

4/9... a.jas n k.izan pegi tengokkan mak kat sana... at that time, my mum already loss the voice... aku tak pernah agak pun semua ni jadi mcm ni..k.izan say for me that, my mum bleed so much, cant walk that much, so weakness... so, my sis at peneng take a long break to take care my mum..

12/9... i got bad news..my mum condition become worse...ca metz to lung, numbness of leg, bleeding never stop..kami adik beradik btolak ke husm...i cant see my mum condition like this, aku mest nak nangis, im not strong so much, n aku tak nak mak tengok aku nangis...tapi mak, walau sakit pun keadaan, mak tak pernah merungut, bibir mak tak pernah lekang ngan senyum...i no, my mum so pain n mak tak nak orang lain jage unless k.ros.... sebelum balik, semua org kata, mak mesti kuat tahan sakit..akay kata kat mak, jgn sedih..anak2 mak seme dah berjaya....nothing much for my mum need to worried.....

20/9..this is da last day for my mum....
around 12 midnite...iwan call....mak kene operate malam ni....praying...semoga semua bjalan lancar...we plan to start our journey early of morning to husm...
3am...get a call again....mak tak sedar dah ni....
around 4...get a call again from k.ros...suara k.ros tsekat...mak nazak dah....
sharp 5.15..get a call again...mak x de dah....saat terime that news from my sis and bro, aku terduduk, terkedu, crying so much...and go at that side, staying alone..make myself calm....
and i got da mesg..

mayb this is the best way to release all her pain....al-fathihah.....

salam aidilfitri...

buat rakan sekolah, rakan sepermainan d terengganu, saya tak dapat beraya dengan anda sekalian pada tahun ini.. dan mungkin sepanjang perayaan ini saya tiada di rumah..because my mum was admitted to HUSM and i will accompanied her till my end of holiday that second of October or until Tuan Shaikh or Miss Wee calling me to report duty for my new posting..

dengan itu, saya mengambil pluang memohon ampun pada anda sekalian jika ade janji yang tak tertunai dan salah silap yang tak saya sengajakan.. SALAM AIDILFITRI..MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

especially for my close rakan sekampung..ninie, irah,zam,eira, zarif,mawi,mamat, iwan, dino, epie and all....saya amat merindui kamu semua......... take care all of u..salam....

breaking fasting together..2 days before raye at nasi kukus..paka...

waiting...

erah, me n zam

ninie on da right

on left..mawi,maro,mat, iwan
center...zarif
right...zam, me, erah..ninie not in da pic

tired

im so tired today with extended hour working..
i want more rest...
and...in my mind..counting a day for a date...hu..hu..
hurry....
hurm...better go sleep now......

dreaming n embrassement

im sory guy, aku tak bmaksud x endahkan panggilan itu...
one day in da evening... lately, i dont know, where i put my mind....
fikiran melayang..jauh ntah ke mane.. betul kata Pn Na tu...

i'm walking at corner hospital side...
behind me.. tdengar seakan suara memanggil....
dalam hati aku( sape la PSY patient yg memekik tu)...

hafrizal: yanie...melaung lagi...yanie...dan lagi..yanie.......
aku: terus jalan...dengar... tp x tau lak mamat nih panggil aku..
staff nurse at that side: say to hafrizal....ko memekik tuh paggil sape hah???
dengan selambe, aku pusing belakang....
oh..ko paggil aku ke... aku ingat org sakit mane melolong tadi....
aku tersengih macam kerang busuk..rupenye si hafrizal dari wad supply lagi dah mjerit, melolong memggil.... aku ni pekak sket kot ari nih..he..he...SORRY LA BRO....

shopping raye..

disebabkan kekangan masa, cik safa shopped by online only.. memang x sempat nak g jenguk ape yang menarik kat shopping complex nih..hu..hu... tp so fantastic, a lot of beautiful shawl which can get through online... and me fell like to buy all... so hard to find out at here and i have no time to shopped at KL....

i hoped this month, bonus will come in my next income..just hoped....
budget this month quite high...
walauapapun, saya tetap btekad untuk dapatkan that Cybershot camera by SONY yg telah lame saya idamkan....i lurve that....

waiting n praying.....

sometime ciksue become crazy....

weekend so much prettiest than others days..
spend a lot of time with family, niece and nephew...
i got window shopping with angah miera..u know, even i lurve spending time at qtan but the most thing ' yang paling saya benci' da jam road at qtan... so hard to park car.... the rubbish drivers who always drove car like mak bapak die punye jalan....sigh..sigh
i got window shopping, never buy anything for myself, saya suke tengok barang yang cantik2 tapi saya tak beli....that's crazy of me....just asking to angah, anything u want just take it... ape lagi, angah mesti amik pluang nier punye... amiera bought two novel for herself...
before going out, Danny ask me, can ciksu buy a new transformers toys... NEVER... that already a lot transformers collection with Danny and Ibu never allow anyone buys any toys for him again.. so pity to Danny...

next evening i drove to trg with angah n fahmi.... that day almost time for breaking da fast... suddenly, fahmi bersuara.... bole tak kita makan kfc buke puasa nih???? satu perkara yg tak bole saya buat adalah, mhampakan harapan org... fine, just choose what do u want la.... diorag nih memang kuat makan..huh....

i lurve this weekend.. everybody at home..we spend breaking da fast together... saya ke pasar with my brother buy anything for cooking.... just choose...LIKE IT
lame gile tak makan best camni??? do u know what i mean da best at this side??? it is not kfc, pizza or mcd.. but lauk kg yang dah lame gile saya tak jupe.... ikan aya(tongkol) singgang, petai cicah budu....CRAZY... saya dah tak sentuh makan lain... plus air kelapa yang dikait oleh abang saya.... before my mum decide to be warded, she ask to dr, so that she can take a some time before going to hospital.. ONLY because, she want see all her sons and daughters spends tme together in this mulia Ramadhan... terharu..sob..sob....