sepi 1 syawal

ibu kembali kepada penciptaNya di hening subuh 1 Syawal....
teramat sayu.... only Him know what i feel that time..my tears never stop flowing... at that morning, i just wait jenazah come home from husm... cant doing anything anymore...

1/09...aku. iwan n a.kay. hantar mak ke husm for stomach washout... tiada tanda apepun tp before going to husm, mak nak tengok semua anaknye bkumpul bbuka puasa... hari btolak ke husm, my mum wore a new bju kurung making by Teh n seme baju baru yang Teh wat, mak bawak skali... we leave my mum alone at ward..mase aku nak tinggalkam mak, terasa sayu sangat n pesan kat org katil sebelah, tolong tengokkan mak saya..... macam biasa, sebelum pergi, aku kucup kedua belah pipi mak.....

4/9... a.jas n k.izan pegi tengokkan mak kat sana... at that time, my mum already loss the voice... aku tak pernah agak pun semua ni jadi mcm ni..k.izan say for me that, my mum bleed so much, cant walk that much, so weakness... so, my sis at peneng take a long break to take care my mum..

12/9... i got bad news..my mum condition become worse...ca metz to lung, numbness of leg, bleeding never stop..kami adik beradik btolak ke husm...i cant see my mum condition like this, aku mest nak nangis, im not strong so much, n aku tak nak mak tengok aku nangis...tapi mak, walau sakit pun keadaan, mak tak pernah merungut, bibir mak tak pernah lekang ngan senyum...i no, my mum so pain n mak tak nak orang lain jage unless k.ros.... sebelum balik, semua org kata, mak mesti kuat tahan sakit..akay kata kat mak, jgn sedih..anak2 mak seme dah berjaya....nothing much for my mum need to worried.....

20/9..this is da last day for my mum....
around 12 midnite...iwan call....mak kene operate malam ni....praying...semoga semua bjalan lancar...we plan to start our journey early of morning to husm...
3am...get a call again....mak tak sedar dah ni....
around 4...get a call again from k.ros...suara k.ros tsekat...mak nazak dah....
sharp 5.15..get a call again...mak x de dah....saat terime that news from my sis and bro, aku terduduk, terkedu, crying so much...and go at that side, staying alone..make myself calm....
and i got da mesg..

mayb this is the best way to release all her pain....al-fathihah.....