can i try to love it???

i'm rejecting my post job at bahagian pharmacy.....
at da first time, im so glad to get that job..of coz because this job at qtn..
but..it not more involved in patient care and hospital.... after had been brained wash by my care giver, i thought again...everything what i had learned, useless if i have choose this job.. n in my mind, i cant afford to work with miss wee n tn shaikh....everytime this work so demanding... reject this offer....

now, staying at hoshas..try to build up my love with my new job..sometime.. i thought, it really hard to become a senior... i hope He will guide me... n if my Mum still be with me, she will become da first for me to story about... and she always guide me for da decision... i hoped this final decision is da best choice for me...

my first oncall as FRP come this week at methadone center...TEH, HELP ME......

BFF

That a great day fot us.. a time of us gathering again in our best friend wedding ceremony...
Memang x sangka, dalam banyak2 kawan yg kamcing nih...mawi sampai jodoh dulu..he..he..
this is a pic in hasmawi n haslina wedding..

bila dah bjumpa..perempuan2 ini..hanye tau bgossip aje..

mawi disakat oleh ex2 girlfriendnya

kaum2 hawa...

kaum2 adam

membe sekampung..stu skolah... yg slalu buat onar d dlm class.. BFF..

da very left one is very problematic in class..always got problem with Pn Mas Ayu Ros Aida..ha..ha..but now, he got master in engeneering..fuyoo keyroll.. bangga cikgu mas tau.

skarang dah jadi suami org nih...he

selamat pengantin baru mawi n haslina.. siapakah di kalangan ktorg yg akan mengikuti jejak mawi ni..wait and see....he

Tuhan..aku rindu sangat...

siti nurhaliza ibu mp3 | lyrics

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Aku rindu sangat kata2 semangat dari dia...
Bibir mak tak pernah lekang dengan kata nasihat...
Emak tak pernah lupa ingatkan anak2 dia...
Emak tak pernah jemu berikan ilmu tuk anaknya...
aku rindu ..bibir mak yang tak pernah lekang dengan seyum...
Jarang skali tuk marah anaknye.. jarang skali ungkit kesusahan besarkan 10 orang anaknye...

Bile kaki aku mlangkah ke skolah..emak slalu pesan doa itu...semoga aku terus amalkanya..
bile aku takut exam...emak suruh lagi aku baca doa ini...Tuhan..dia tak pernak lupakan aku dengan kebaikan.... Ya Allah..tempatkanlah ibuku di tempat orang yang beriman bersama 'payung emasnya'...amin.....

2001

2006

matriculation year..

iwan ngan mak

anak mak..yes..i am.....al-fathihah

sepi 1 syawal

ibu kembali kepada penciptaNya di hening subuh 1 Syawal....
teramat sayu.... only Him know what i feel that time..my tears never stop flowing... at that morning, i just wait jenazah come home from husm... cant doing anything anymore...

1/09...aku. iwan n a.kay. hantar mak ke husm for stomach washout... tiada tanda apepun tp before going to husm, mak nak tengok semua anaknye bkumpul bbuka puasa... hari btolak ke husm, my mum wore a new bju kurung making by Teh n seme baju baru yang Teh wat, mak bawak skali... we leave my mum alone at ward..mase aku nak tinggalkam mak, terasa sayu sangat n pesan kat org katil sebelah, tolong tengokkan mak saya..... macam biasa, sebelum pergi, aku kucup kedua belah pipi mak.....

4/9... a.jas n k.izan pegi tengokkan mak kat sana... at that time, my mum already loss the voice... aku tak pernah agak pun semua ni jadi mcm ni..k.izan say for me that, my mum bleed so much, cant walk that much, so weakness... so, my sis at peneng take a long break to take care my mum..

12/9... i got bad news..my mum condition become worse...ca metz to lung, numbness of leg, bleeding never stop..kami adik beradik btolak ke husm...i cant see my mum condition like this, aku mest nak nangis, im not strong so much, n aku tak nak mak tengok aku nangis...tapi mak, walau sakit pun keadaan, mak tak pernah merungut, bibir mak tak pernah lekang ngan senyum...i no, my mum so pain n mak tak nak orang lain jage unless k.ros.... sebelum balik, semua org kata, mak mesti kuat tahan sakit..akay kata kat mak, jgn sedih..anak2 mak seme dah berjaya....nothing much for my mum need to worried.....

20/9..this is da last day for my mum....
around 12 midnite...iwan call....mak kene operate malam ni....praying...semoga semua bjalan lancar...we plan to start our journey early of morning to husm...
3am...get a call again....mak tak sedar dah ni....
around 4...get a call again from k.ros...suara k.ros tsekat...mak nazak dah....
sharp 5.15..get a call again...mak x de dah....saat terime that news from my sis and bro, aku terduduk, terkedu, crying so much...and go at that side, staying alone..make myself calm....
and i got da mesg..

mayb this is the best way to release all her pain....al-fathihah.....

salam aidilfitri...

buat rakan sekolah, rakan sepermainan d terengganu, saya tak dapat beraya dengan anda sekalian pada tahun ini.. dan mungkin sepanjang perayaan ini saya tiada di rumah..because my mum was admitted to HUSM and i will accompanied her till my end of holiday that second of October or until Tuan Shaikh or Miss Wee calling me to report duty for my new posting..

dengan itu, saya mengambil pluang memohon ampun pada anda sekalian jika ade janji yang tak tertunai dan salah silap yang tak saya sengajakan.. SALAM AIDILFITRI..MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

especially for my close rakan sekampung..ninie, irah,zam,eira, zarif,mawi,mamat, iwan, dino, epie and all....saya amat merindui kamu semua......... take care all of u..salam....

breaking fasting together..2 days before raye at nasi kukus..paka...

waiting...

erah, me n zam

ninie on da right

on left..mawi,maro,mat, iwan
center...zarif
right...zam, me, erah..ninie not in da pic

tired

im so tired today with extended hour working..
i want more rest...
and...in my mind..counting a day for a date...hu..hu..
hurry....
hurm...better go sleep now......